This is my son’s favourite thing to say to me these days! He is at that ‘oh, so wonderful’ age of 3.5 years old when he is REALLY discovering his world and all the sights, sounds and smells that go along with it. And because he is 3.5 years old, he also talks about whatever it is he is thinking or seeing or smelling or discovering incessantly. It is an amazing time for him and for us, but can also be a very embarrassing time for us as well–like at Starbucks a few weeks ago, when he LOUDLY pointed out that another mommy had a VERY big booty shack, as I slowly tried to slide under the table and avoid all eye contact with anyone!
All this brings me to the reason for this post. In another of his very observatory moments, this morning as I was getting dressed he pointed out that my underwear did not cover my bum, aka, the booty shack. I was wearing a pair of Hanky Panky underwear and he wanted to know why it did not cover my bum? Well, YOU try to explain thong underwear to a 3.5 year old!!
So this whole situation got me thinking about underwear and how my needs, likes, and general comfort level have changed since having kids. Pre-babies I was a Hanky Panky only girl–damn the $24/pair price tag, I needed to have them and in every color too! And why not, they are one size fits all, NEVER show a panty line and are THE most comfortable thong panty out there. And if you believe that the picture to the right is my bum…..then yes, it absolutely is.
And then I got pregnant with my son. And for the most part Hanky Panky’s are a great maternity panty. Because of the stretchy lace, they easily accommodate the changing and growing body (and bum!) of a pregnant woman. So for baby number one, I managed to avoid going the route of the ridiculously HUGE maternity underwear and risk losing ANY and all sex appeal I could still muster up during that time.
Fast forward to 35 weeks pregnant and for some reason, NO ONE told me about the whole lochia thing until about a day or two before my son was born (we had a weekend to prepare for an early induction on a Monday), so there I was at Zellers on a Sunday afternoon looking for some cheap granny panties that I could just scrap after the ‘after’ stuff was all done. I found a nice 6 pack of Fruit of the Looms that served their purpose for a good six weeks and then were summarily trashed!! And it was right back to the Hanky Panky’s thank you very much.
I was pregnant with my daughter 14 months later and again wore them throughout most of my pregnancy–now I say most because, again, unbeknown to me at the time, having 2 babies in less than 22 months can do things to your body that you were not expecting! I am talking about HEMORRHOIDS here people!!! Those darn little grape like protrusions that were not there before! And let me tell you, hemorrhoids and Hanky Panky’s (or any thong underwear for that matter) DO NOT mix!! So I gave in and got me some not so huge Bravado panties that were not too ugly. Around that time I also discovered a line of Jockey underwear that has become a new staple in my undies drawer. The NO Panty Line Promise, Modern Brief. These do all the things I like about Hanky Panky’s (stretchy, no lines, sit low on the waist) AND they cover my bum.
So skip forward a year and a half later. The hemorrhoids are no longer a problem (and for those of you who are pregnant and reading this and have this particular issue, all I can say is – TUCK’s wipes my friends!!). Sadly, I have to admit that the days of my exclusivity to the Hanky Panky’s thong are over. I wear a mix of underwear these days and some days a nice pair of cotton hipster undies is what a girl needs. If only to keep the ‘big booty shack’ comments to a minimum…..
How about you? How do you cover (or not) your booty shack?
P.S. I have in no way received any compensation from Hanky Panky, Jockey or Fruit of the Loom for the above mentions. Although if anyone knows someone who works for them and thinks that they would like to compensate me, then please pass this on!!